Hi! Yes, I’ve become a mother of a cute little one.
I initially wanted to be on a childless marriage or the very least have at least one child, and I have always been open to adopting a child. Perhaps, working as a guidance counselor for a long time, scares the hell out of me, I was scared of the responsibility, scared of pregnancy down to genetics and everything.
My partner has always been open about wanting to have at least 3 children, but at the same time would tell me “Your body, your rules”, which later on turned to “I’m willing to wait till you are ready”.
We’ve discussed this waaaay before our marriage. When my partner proposed I told him I really want to marry him, I see my future with him, but I can’t imagine having children yet, but I am open to discussing about it. I have told my parents prior to getting married as well, cause I don’t want them anticipating me getting pregnant the first hour after marrying. They were initially taken aback but respected my decision.
When I decided I am ready (nobody is ever ready, but at least I am sure I don’t just want a baby to satisfy my wants or needs, or anybody else) I would tell my husband about how I wanted to have a shared responsibility, how I don’t see myself doing all the works, changing diapers, feeding, I want us both to be involve, regardless if I am unemployed at that time.
We would talk about our stand on a lot of things on raising a baby, like our views on screen time, validating emotions, being strict versus being a free-range parent, and a lot more.
There are a lot of things we are not seeing, a lot of things that we are not told about having a baby. I was once told by a friend of mine who is a mother, how their happiness in marriage deteriorated after having a baby. How their life became so much stressful after having a baby. We are so used to preparing ourselves to major things in our life, preparing or an examination, work interview, marriage, and we should be doing the same in terms of having a baby.
Preparing for a baby is not just about buying all the necessary stuffs, but also preparing yourself psychologically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Right now, sometimes I’d wake up at 2am and stare at my baby, and think about how blessed we are to have her.
Sometimes at midnight my husband and I would stare at our sleeping little one and tell ourselves “God! We are parents”.
Deviant Artist 