Things That Doesn’t Make Sense

I realized half of what average people have been doing in their life doesn’t really make sense.

    I’ve been sleepless and restless lately because of some school requirements which are due for the month. Requirements, that will decide whether I graduate or not. If I get hit by truck on this week and die,  I would probably become a restless soul  knowing that all I did for this week was face papers, write things, and drink coffee. I spent most of my life secluded in school, trying to learn things which I doubt would ever be useful  in my future. All I want is to be happy, but going to school has been an ‘unwritten prerequisite to life’. I remember when I graduated from secondary school and jokingly told my parents, ‘what if I don’t wanna go to college and I want pursue other things like teaching music, write, or do business?’. I saw how they were stunned for a moment, they have always expected so much from me. Growing as a middle child I was a bit competitive at school compared to my other siblings. They told me I can always do what I want but I needed to take up a four year course in college first for it is the surest way to get a job in the future. I know my parents always wanted the best for me and for my siblings as well. I always know I was doing the right thing provided that they have been guiding me all along. One fateful day when I was already in college, our professor told us to write a list of our short term and long term goals. Are people always this assuming about having a long life? One day we will die, and one day could be soon. I saw a lot of people in deathbed, when you know you’re dying, suddenly goals… change. In the first place we know what we want, but somehow it is the thought of dying which reminds us of the things we really want in life. Isn’t it ironic? Life is. We struggle so much for stupid things when what we really want is to be happy. We know what we really want but somehow a part of the world gives us the standards. I remember a smart good friend of mine, he was so capable and I salute  his’ good brain. He was taking up Accountancy in college, then one day I heard that he dropped out from school to become a missionary. I told myself it  was stupid, how could he throw away his education to become a missionary. These kept on running in my mind, but I know deep inside I was jealous. I was jealous for he was brave enough to pursue what he really wanted despite people telling him not to. It was then that I came to ponder, in life what we need is to be brave and courageous enough to pursue what we want. No matter how people discourages you not to, in the end of the day you are not doing it for them. Its all about you in the end. I am one of the average people who just can’t risk my life for uncertainties, so I am trapped in the four walls of the school.  I may sound half hearted, but I am trying to do the things I love at the same time, teaching music, and writing. If you are doing what you really want in your life right now, then you’re not one of the ‘average people’ I’m talking about.


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