First Heartache

There comes that time when you just can’t refrain yourself from thinking about all the pains you had before reaching this far. Pain, just like the first heartache you had from your first love.

I was still young at that time when I started admiring someone from my 6th grade class. He was not that handsome to start with but he was talented and I was easily captured by it. He was a new comer to our school, he draws and dances well and he was really kind hearted person. My feelings grew even more when he told me that he likes me.

Just like the typical girl, I could hardly sleep the night after his confession and the days after it were magical. We would compete on drawing competitions, and we were both accepted in the badminton team of the school.

I never felt awkward with him, he always makes me feel comfortable but almost a month after, I heard a rumour that he confessed to my best friend. Of course it was already painful hearing it so I couldn’t bring myself to ask my best friend. Until, I just witness it all, their sweetness, and how they feel awkward and shy with each other, while I was left out.

I never asked my best friend but at that time I already knew the answer, then one day my best friend just hugged me and ask for my forgiveness. There I cried in my best friend’s shoulder. It was no one one’s fault, so after crying I was determined to move forward.

It was actually painful especially of all the girls it was my best friend and he never even given me a hint that he likes my best friend.

It’s been almost 7 years since then and we are all going to college now. My best friend is happy with her life and we always find time to see each other. They didn’t last while the guy is somewhere we don’t really know. We haven’t heard about him since we graduated.

But my heart is still filled with questions, filled with the “whys” that I wasn’t able to ask before. All these questions are holding me into my past still, if only I could meet him again by chance, one day, I wish we could talk casually and just go back to being friends. If only.

I don’t want to experience the same pain, but thinking about it, those painful memories indeed could make me smile now. I learned from it a lot, but if I would be going through the same pain again because of the one I presently love now, I know by this time it would be even more painful.

God is so good to give us the right to decide whether we remain sad or move forward and find happiness, I choose the latter. For every heartache, the ending depends on you, whether it’s a happy ending or a sad one.

For all the learning he taught me, the pain that makes me a better person and the new love I found after, it was a happy ending.


Just like every sunset, every tomorrow awaits 😉

God bless.


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